10 worlds theory

Today my mom dragged me to the SOKA association. ok not exactly drag but i din wanna go initially.

Mr Goh true to wat Qixun said shared the 10 worlds theory.
Yes its a theory so nobody knows whether it is true or not but in any case is supposed to help others to better understand the fundamentals. This theory apparently is a basic tenet to SOKA teachings.

OK i came up with this halfway on the bus, doesn’t make sense of all but i tried la ok.
10 world obviously divided into 10 different life conditions.

Now imagine you’re playing a game. say D&D. your character is a cleric.
So at the bottom level

(1)Hell level: When everyone starts attacking you or that you feel you’re facing this level 10 monster..when you’re level 1. The out of control feeling. helplessness

(2)Hungry Ghost: This is when instead of going around wanting to cure people, you decide to stay at home and eat all day long or think of women, drugs and booze. giving up your crusade altogether.

(3)Beast: When you  bully other lower level clerics. You wonder whether you shud serve the demon or god. You are confused.

(4)Xiu luo : ok xiu luo is a god who is jealous of god’s power. or so i remember. so then you decide to pander to the higher level clerics and you feel superior over the other clerics. It is difficult to respect any of your peers because you feel you’re so up there.

(5)Human level: at this level you’re a rational human being doing rational stuff. basically you can exercise self-control and can think logically. Most people need to be constantly improving just to stay at this lvl for the majority of the time.

(6)Heaven: At this level you feel on top of the world. Like you just killed a boss. or maybe you’re starving for days you finally get to eat. Or maybe after much savings you finally bought your car. The exhiliration you feel marks this stage. apparently the feeling is fleeting and diminishes with time.

the 6 combined = 六道轮回
so basically most people revolve themselves ard these 6.

When i look at my own life, that is essentially where i do spend most of my time. of cos i do step out of the 6 and momentarily move higher up during meal times, i seem to love hanging ard down there.
One theory suggested is that these are caused by the environment. When the environment repeatedly tempts you, it is difficult, without any assistance to not fall into them. History is rife with examples. Darth Vader, to our T.T Durai. It was said that Durai started out as a young man full of compassion for kidney patients. The money got to him and greed kept him at the lower levels. It is pretty sad because we all know how capable he is, bringing NKF to where it was.

Now we move on to the higher upper levels also known collectively as the 4 sage levels

声闻(7): this is where the cleric knows that he is in a game and that it changes all the time

缘觉(8): This is where the cleric by looking at the monsters and the environment is able to figure out how it works.

These 2 collectively are called 2 chen. the thing is tat even though there is a great amount of wisdom here and tat you probably don’t get upset over small things, the most defining thing is that a person at these 2 levels are egocentric. therefore our cleric…though wise and powerful now, can only heal himself and not others.

菩萨(9): Respect Others. Derive joy from helping others. Here the cleric heals others and is happy!

佛(10): the last is one with the universe, understand its workings and has peace of mind.

to be continued..

Memories

“deng yi ge qing tian” kinda evokes all the emotions inside. Can’t help feeling a little sour.

While strong brotherly love brought them back together, it does not seem to exist for me. I feel more like a tool, who has been used as a bargaining chip to exchange for the things that he wants to have. Was it him? or was it me? or was it my dad? Why is it that as early as i can remember, i’ve not felt being taken care of. He felt more like an alien entity that i ran around with and sometimes from. His emotional and irrational outbursts struck fear into me at a young and tender age and..i think he himself suffered at the hands of dad.

What seems obvious right now is how inadequate my father was in handling this child of a different nature. I guess he’s not fully to blame. At that era, whoever knew of such? and especially so about asking advice from people who were experts in childcare or counsellors. While the younger generation adapts easily and is able to reason more logically with an open mind, the older generation has been trained to think simply and execute.

I don’t even remember already when he left. except tat it seems like a really long time ago. It must have been hard being on one’s own. I should think it not illogical to form barriers and defences, trying to get the maximal resources to one’s own acct. Afterall, who can be there for you when you need it? But it is sad.
When 2 becomes 1.

EN104 revisited

People can forget what you did easily, but they don’t forget how you made them feel.

Today i reflected back on EN104 and couldn’t help feel the tension that occurred inside. On the one hand the perfectionist in me wanted things to be done the best way we could, on the other i tugged myself in the more humane direction. Alot of things didn’t go the way i hoped it could. unclear communication, differing expectations. All the things you would face in a typical business environment as well. I think I offended quite a few of our own people as well although the damage done could not be measured. I wish i could tell somebody but then these are some stuff that comes with being a matured adult. as well as being a guy. some things you can say and some you don’t.

I somehow wronged weihao’s group too. at least as according to lina. It serves as a reminder of how things may not be the way they are even when all evidence points towards it (at least in my own mind). The older i become, the more opinionated i seem to be. Although i’m pretty much receptive to ideas, some of these faulty beliefs i have are not subject to change. perhaps i’m similar to my dad in some ways after all. Pat’s another stubborn girl. I think she must have suffered alot too when we went at each other then. i’m sorry.

It must have been the elitist air somehow because apparently i’m not the only one feeling this way. perhaps its true after all that we look at the favored with a jaundiced eye. I must take care of that too when i’m on top next time. Of cos the fatigue and FYP stress must have contributed. and emotional turmoil. If i had the chance to do it all over again, i’d plan properly and realise what are the things we have and are able to do within the time frame and make decisions accordingly. Perhaps wanting to beat others too much has the counter effect too when the emotion is not being managed properly.

There is some truth. You think of others the way you think of yourself. I do need to step back and examine my own behavior.

its amazing i do so much reflection but is not one of my strengths in 2.0 Will go back to look at it soon. after i finish my text.

better and better. everyday, in everyway.

Bringing to you…remembrance

Today i looked up the bulletin boards of marketingprofs.com and suggested a solution for this guy. Hopefully my solution is so wonderful every other person starts picking up on it. hahha.

Finished the chapter on advertising. wonder when lynn will reply me. Learnt quite abit about the industry and also for marketing. I really love the work much more than any engineering shit! Business is kinda exciting. at least for the moment. But given my tendency i’d do well to wait awhile and see whether going straight into advertising is wise.

Looks like i won’t be going anywhere for grad trip after all. Not sure if that is what i wanted after all. perhaps all the doing nothing has kinda numbed my senses.

Eating prawn crackers + beer = unhealthy lifestyle.
can’t believe i felt a little dizzy after just 1 bottle.
but while drinking my senses suddenly awoken to the fact my dad lived a life full of ups and downs, trials and tribulations. It seems that the contemporary lifestyle will not be exciting in that sense but in another more business risk kind of way. Stories for the grandchildren they say.

Suddenly tot of my mentor. You were the one who showed me the power of an idea. The “opening of doors” mentally inside me to the riches and opportunities abound. Although they have not come to fruition, it is also true that the generalization of knowledge has undoubtedly made me a more open person. Life is like that sometimes, when you understand the rules, the game just seems much easier to play. Thank you.

Burt Goldman’s report abt the genius dip is kinda encouraging, yet scary. Have i lost my “genius-ness” as well? of cos i’d like to say that even if i had, it could be found back somehow by the use of some esoteric method or other but really we may be debating something that is really not relevant or true at all. Sure howard gardner is a huge power in intelligences but not nearly everything tat comes out of a marketer or prospective marketer can be fully trusted sometimes.
That article by healthywise is one good example. unfortunately the self-help industry is sometimes not for everyone. obviously the article has its merits. Under the context which the story unfolds was of cos reasonable but under normal circumtstances, its simply not logical to behave the way you “should have”. Is it just me who feels that its misleading? I don’t know for sure whether alot of others have been running around in circles and unknowingly have lost their confidence in themselves to make sound judgments and instead rely on “guru” knowledge. I know i have at a certain point in time.

krabi is a place in thailand..where you can climb.

I thought it would be another wasted day

What exactly is our mind made up of?

Despite my constant efforts to uncover what a human thinks and how he thinks what he thinks, the question is way beyond me. 5 months after…it still hangs around. too many hooks from it to my mind. It is so central, there seems little i can do to remove it.

Well anyway i’ll keep trying to follow my own advice. the serenity to accept that which i cannot change…and the wisdom to know the difference.

I havent been truly angry for a long time. At least not to what i can remember. But this myanmar general really makes me mad. Yes its none of my business and i should focus my energy on things which are in my loci of control. But…BUT BUT. BUT I REALLY cannot take it lying down. I MEAN WTF are u thinking about? You’re playing with people’s lives here. ARGAHAG. F***

This awakens me to this piece of wisdom. (which arguably i may have known but forgotten. getting old liao). Why are youngsters our generation generally apathetic towards most things? Including politics, world issues, education policies. Is it purely because we have not been exposed? or is it we have not been exposed to it in a convincing way? Do we need to experience it for ourselves before we can understand it? I think it is valid to say they play a part. but…this explanation, if not just for moral reasons does not appeal to me. To understand fully this thing will have to do the Kah Howe Sudoku example liao. But anyway i believe the reason is that
We are safe being the self-centered person we are. No one blames anyone for thinking for themselves. No one will fault you for not knowing the biggest happenings in the world. In a meritocratic society, unfortunately, eventually your peers will be the ones you compete with. In NTU, no matter how much you love your friends, you will be subject to the bell curve and be another statistic. How well you perform is not a function of your absolute ability but your relative ability to others. To that end, you have to think, in some way, and hope, that others will not do as well as you. Its no longer intuitive to hope that you have done well. After 4 years in NTU, you learn not to fret when you have done 2 questions out of 4. but to fret when you have done 3 and a half and everyone else has done everything. I honestly wasn’t guilty of this on my last paper. i din care if everyone else did everything too. But maybe that’s cos i did almost everything anyway and it mattered little. Nonetheless, we’re forgotten we’re not alone in this world and that there is someone on the other side of the planet who is hungry and suffering.

Long time coming

Its a long time i written anything here.

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