I don’t know man..

For the morning, i tried to get a good price for my account. From the afternoon onwards….i was hooked. Again. I must say despite the poor customer service, blizzard has done a darn good job of creating an out of world experience for players. A combination of so many elements together pulls you right back in. The ease, convenience of picking up with a community of players, the belonging, the curiousity, the loot, the sound, the challenge. Oh man. What is a gamer to do?

I remember the time i ran scholomance 50 times to get my helm(which i still din get) and how i can remember the whole instance blindfolded. Spliffski and i trying to 2 man the bosses. that was really crazy times. The times i wanted the rank 11 so bad i camped AV. When i first got unstoppable force, bought axe of deep woods and there still are people who are willing to pay heaps. My maelstorm card. Ace of whatever.

I logged today and phixiouss asked me to join him, which..in response i said i din raid. But what’s there to play if we’re not raiding? PvP? yes but its not complete. at least to me. its a tough call really. I don’t tink i will go back to how i did previously. But still, is it worth it? There’s nothing there, except pixelated treasures. The temptation to get to lvl 70 is huge. and tier 6 for all the hardcore folks.

I ran to the bishan stadium today. Literally breathtaking. When i stopped. I felt like i was gonna faint or something. My heartbeat was not strong. This is serious business. I cannot recall feeling such weakness during runs before. I need a gradual plan to get back to shape. I’ll do another short run tomorrow coupled with some exercises.

And so…….today happened also to be the national inter-primary school track and field! Other than the usual kids, there were a couple of hot sisters and teachers walking around. Not that i care to notice but adults are kinda striking with all kids around you know. Ok fine i’m justifying myself. I find alot of people to be hot anyway. So back to the kids, while some are ecstatic about supporting their schoolmates or friends, most of them were just sitting around talking to their friends or creating their own idea of fun.  After a couple of preliminary events, it seems obvious that while some have done their preparation, many schools have not. Most have their own singlet while some wear polo shirts to run. And their performance leaves much to be desired as well. I mean, in a 600m run, to lag behind by 200m at the end is a pretty big lead. There were the obvious first timers, who ran forward too fast, too soon, only to be overtaken by runners who have paced themselves well.

When i look back at my to-do-list, i get so demoralized cos there’s so many! its crazy! And then i remembered the advice of focusing on a single big task and then breaking it down into parts. and…just do something. anything, to get started and break inertia. Yea that’s sagely advice. back to planning my day so i don’t get offtrack just sleeping my day away or walking around thinking.

Crucial Conversations: Telling clever stories. We use clever stories as a way to deflect the feeling of having done wrong. there’s 3 versions of it.

1) Victim story: Its not my fault!
This is all about pushing the blame away from yourself.

2) Villain story: Its all his fault!
This is pinning the blame on someone else for a problem, attempting to mask, minimize the part you yourself had to play in it. When you’re afraid others will blame you, you start to do this.

3) Helpless stories: There’s nothing I can do
Yup. We do this all the time. Of cos there’s almost always something you can do.

And the common point of all 3 stories? They’re always incomplete. While your story are just one interpretation of a number of facts, which can come up to an infinite number of possible stories. Therefore, the solution is to…ta da! finish the story!

See/Hear –> Tell story –> Feel –> Act

While others may think that we get angry the moment he/she does the act, there are steps in between them. Steps that we can step in to question our thought process. By focusing on observable facts which others are able to state too in an interaction between the relevant people, you reduce the storytelling effect. His shoulders tensed up and his face grew more pale are observable facts. He said that he wanted to “make things clear” was a fact. On the other hand, he is “angry” or wants to fix you up are opinions. While many of these stories we make are useful in the sense they provide a shortcut and protect us sometimes, it is useful only if they’re inaccurate. Watching the language you use, observing the facts, slowing down our thought process, will make us more adept at dialogue.

Idil’s Wedding

It was like a mini post-ICT gathering. Alot of our guys were there. The usual platoon 1 gang. I think the wedding added up to about 20k++ with the MC, decor, tables, food etc. pretty amazed by the singing of the DJs. so flawless i thought it was played with a CD. gosh. Jellyman brought his son. HHAHAHA. Offspring. So CUTE!!! for some reason he was kinda preoccupied with other stuff. He’s got a lot of hair too for a 1+ year old too!

So many of our company guys are getting hitched. I mean, these guys are like 26 + – and they’ve already made lifelong commitments to their other half. Jellyman’s looks really like a father already. Thinking ahead, planning, making sacrifices to have the best for his son. No longer the wild player he was, it just seemed weird to see him holding his son together with his loving wife.

Groundswell: Its use bypasses natural biases towards products. The use of focus groups can be made to answer whichever questions you need, but it offers little in the way of insights. The important questions that are most important to you may not have been revealed yet. And groundswell allows you to watch the interaction between customers and the product instead. Cons exist of course like having a natural bias towards netizens and that it may not be representative of the customer base. That is then the challenge.

Reasons to be part of communaspaces: receiving value from community, small gifts, interaction and friendships with like minded, links to relevant info, diagnostic tools(cancer)

Manage brands: Once people get to know of products, they become part of the “middle funnel” and then advertisements start to lose their effect on them as they prefer to get feedback from friends, etc

Talking with the groundswell
1) to achieve awareness – use viral stuff(videos etc)
2) WOM – Social networks(clothes, TV, cars)
3) complexity issues – blogs ( tech, cars, fashion, home improvement, b4 + after sales)
4) accessibility issues – some people stubbornly rely on friends recommendations. therefore use communities (either join or create one) joining has loss of control while creating may require more investment.

TipCo creates dialogues through their videos, they are not aiming for huge viewership just the targeted group. The video leads them to sign up for newsletters, and from there they build a relationship. Its a different concept from blendtec where they are gunning for widespread viewership leading to sales. The product nature is different hence it calls for different strategies. A relationship allows people to react therefore leading to insights.

Starting a blog:
1) Start by listening: monitor the marketplace, your competitors, use of brand metrics company
2) Determine goal: humanize executive, awareness, increase sales, support product champions
3) Calculate ROI
4) Develop a plan: 1 author? , central or spreading
5) Rehearse b4 going live: 5 practise posts
6) Editorial process: copy reader, maybe CMO, or product specialist, process built for speed
7) Design blog: how it is linked to company shows how important the standpoints are to the company. architecture.
Marketing plan: press releases, email to customers, link to others by commenting on others blogs
9) Talking with people, moderation of blog
10) Be honest: acknowledge the issues

Tampon: Beinggirl.com

This is a site by P&G. Selling tampons is the aim but you can’t talk about it! well at least its a hush hush topic here. So, they have found an issue which resonates with girls of that age, from about early teens to probably early 20s. This site is all about the pains of growing up. I checked out the site and it has all those usual relationship advice + aunt aggie columns + those female stuff. A listing of the kinds of sanitary pads and measurement of bra sizes etc. Just realized how there isn’t such a site for guys. Probably we don’t have so many things to consider. HAHAH. but its pretty interesting how the site does not ever do promotion of P&G or their products directly. Its always like a request basis. Though i din explore further(it requires me to sign up!) it seems to be very effective. The site spans many countries and the singapore site has about 200+ comments ratings which indicates the amount of people who have viewed it. And its not even like its insightful or anything. Just a recounting of situation. Then again, i’m not a teenage girl so i probably am not the wiser about comments validity. Great work P&G!

Post

Mas came back for a few days for a meeting in Singapore so i broke my tradition of not watching movies in cinemas to watch the incredible Hulk. HULK SMASH!! GROWL!

Its actually pretty good! hahahah. some tips on anger management came in and i remembered the time when i actually did meditate. pretty interesting. The movie was fast paced with little crap along the way. Alot of action special effects made the movie very acceptable. At least from a guy point of view. Could feel liv taylor’s emotional turmoil when she realized bruce was alive. She’s really very attractive. But i thought lord of the rings kinda made her a goddess or some sort so it probably stuck.

Bruce was really the ideal guy you would want to be. Smart. Really smart. witty. fit. strong. got the babe. charismatic. socially adept. heroic. And a good temper yea.

His adversary the blonski guy was incredibly interesting. He lives by winning, the action, his thirst for power was insatiable. I doubted for a second whether someone would risk his life to be as strong as he was. Although this was pretty much a comic movie, the fact that people who would kill to get their share of power are aplenty. Which partially explains the sad state our world is in.

Oh. and i ate quite a bit of popcorn too. should have taken the combo online.

On the first day of ICT, i faced the first issue and a test of my influence skills. While on hindsight it wasn’t that difficult to handle, it did remind of why i had felt an invisible hand of stress looming over me. I did manage to get Khoo to eventually go for signal training but he left at the first opportunity, which i probably had little control or desire to stop him. After all, these are but small battles(if they can be considered as so) as compared to our long term relationship for the next ICTs. I should believe that there might be an appropriate chance to talk about this.

Had a dream.

I knew that people adapt to situations and their environment, but to see it firsthand was something different altogether. We are all smart people. Hardworking and responsible too if i might say. At work. But then we return to camp and a mutation takes place. We become lazy, unresponsive and generally unwilling to be the helpful and clear-thinking guy in the workplace. If i can avoid it, i will. That’s how it goes. The willingness to do right things seems to be triggered by rank. The higher your rank, the more willingness and responsibility you take up. I am reminded of how i felt just like a recruit with the short hair and smart 4 while on the trains and buses. I wanted to get rid of my uniform as quickly as i could, which was kinda paranoid, but still wore them home.

Gary said “shipping line is just like the army, countless lessons abound”. It prompted me of how little i had learned as compared to how much i could have learned. You can’t describe the army experience in a sentence or 2. Even if you take a few days, the lessons will still flood you. And then i came up with the Tian Ren jie theory.

While specs and men are similar and classified as Ren, officers are a separate breed altogether. The challenge of being an officer are two-fold. They receive orders from above. some of which are not very logical, which they have the responsibility to explain to the the people. There’s a lot of planning involved, which frees them less time to interact with the Ren jie. specs are commanders as well but close interaction with the men means they aren’t that far away from the men. officers, should they be of lesser communication abilities, find that influence and control is a far-away dream. I agree that officers should have a certain line drawn between themselves and the ren jie. But the line is very unclear. Too close, and you risk being seen as “one of them”. On the other hand, people will not follow if the message is unclear or delievered poorly. I find myself thinking in his shoes sometimes. Its seriously not easy when you lack the charisma to lead and have communication skills that aren’t exactly stellar. Yes you tried. But on the ground, there’s tons of people who will not make way for people that tried and are not successful.

As an officer, your special task is to identify quickly and clearly the objective, the trends, perform analysis on company performance and objectives. Formulate strategies to dealing with them. When things don’t work out. It goes back to the officer. And the 2nd part of the story is now that you’ve got the strategy or intent, how do you explain in a way that everyone can identify with wat you’re saying? Who can feel inspired to carry out our duties. Its not easy juggling many things at one time.

I am very lucky. To be able to do the things i want to do and have the liberty to take the next breath, meal, education. While some problems seem really big when actually dealing with it, it is of little consequence to our end goal sometimes, which make it irrelevant. Giving thanks is a wonderful way to begin your day.

We missed out marksman target by 2 points. It was pretty demoralizing as i rank about thinking of the 200 bucks all day. Well, i don’t care that we got more hits than the morning or what source out teammates got. If i had shot 2nother 2 shots from the night shoot the 200 bucks wiould have been ours.

While lying on my bed after the lecture, i remembered how tired i was during 103. Everybody was real tired and we all needed to sleep. Everyone slept like babies.

Are people who have little education resigned to a future with little hope of achieving success in the same way others have? Education is known as the great leveler as it breaks people out of the poverty cycle and gives them the power to do something. We mix around with our friends most from our school which also means if you’re in a not so famed school, chances of you mixing up with rich kids who spend their time doing tuition when you’re busy caring for the family is very very slim. This was Mateen’s pet topic too and i can see how our education system has contributed to such a situation. It cannot be easily differentiated as right or wrong, as as with most things, the truth is often subjective depending on the angle. I’m doubly glad that even though we were not well off, i managed to scrape my way to NTU and finally graduate. This sets me up for later in life where such developed skills like analytical skills and logical thinking have shaped me to be the person i am.

When things go wrong, we look and say things like “Its not my fault” This practise of looking outside of yourself to find the solution is not healthy at all. However should you decide to take responsibility for it, you change yourself and find out which part of you went wrong. Even if it turns out it really is someone else’s fault, you become a much better person just by learning from previous attempts and become a much more worth person.

We can take mini-steps to the completion of our goals and move us along at a much more stable footing to achieve it. To change many steps at once just means that you’re going to give up soon after the supposed “will” has worn off.

To heed my own advice, i should keep out the negative stuff out of my blogs since all these posts are publicly available. Looks like the personal diary is still in demand after all.

Mired in Ecstacy

Yesterday, i logged onto viwawa and tried out the two new games. Numeroid, it seems is equivalent to the arcade classic “Puzzle Bobble” + forming of mathematical equations. My brain is kinda rusty but i did surprise myself by beating the crap out of everyone i came into contact with. Perhaps people are not used to doing maths while playing games i figured.

2nd game was Wahlords. Which i enjoyed much more. Basically its a bomberman game which has become turn-based instead of real time. So the makers have in actual fact sidestepped the issue of latency leading to the people having unfair advantages in the quest to trap each other. The purchase of different bombs and equipment adds a new twist to the game though higher levels have a marked advantage over the lower ones with their equipment. while u can hit 3 squares, they can hit the entire row. How’s that for coverage?

And so, i realized quickly that to beat others at both these games, one aspect is to grasp the trend
and pattern of the game better than your opponent. How long you have played them obviously is not an issue as i have outwitted higher levels with power bombs easily as I have lost to someone who is at a lower lvl than myself. While numeroid requires you to multitask and notice the connection of colours quickly and
mental dexterity in doing maths during reloading, Wahlords requires you to grasp the trend that your opponent has for play. Seems simple enough? While some have a tendency to take risks to gain points destroying objects, some have a more aggressive tendency to chase. Understanding your map and the moves your oppenent intends to make is actually quite a science. The number of action points, how far he can move, can all be calculated based on previous moves. Simple manipulation to bond others to gang against higher levels can be an effective strategy as well. No matter, i think those with a more mathematical, logical background should no doubt fare better than others on the whole as long they’re flexible to make use of their academic capabilities in a game.

All this ties back to my original thought from the Long Tail that the line of amateurs and professionals have been blurred. You don’t have to be an art director to be able to come up with short films on your windows XP or Vista that are highly entertaining. And most importantly, people who watch, don’t really care. They consume such articles with the same amount of expectation. (or absence of) Or perhaps you blog and the way you write captivates a much larger audience than that of magazines or professional journalists. People’s tastes differ by nature and while the mass media used to own our total attention span, the easier reach of more personalized sources makes a switch from 8 Days to the People magazine or Movies magazine commonplace.

While a couple of years of exposure to the “big picture” may be necessary, there is no doubt that our generation is picking things up fast. More analytical, logical skills sometimes making up for the experience of bosses can see us coming up with insights that may elude the hardened veteran whom has seen too much of the same thing to “see” it.

Yesterday night, i found myself playing the movies in my head again, some even continued into my dream. At some point I don’t even know whether i’m awake or asleep. Then again it may be just that, half-awake and asleep.

Blizzard sent me another response yesterday and i finally figured it out. (i think) Account seems to be different from billing in that account deals with the operating side on whether it has been blocked or whatsoever while billing deals with activity. Before i start to blame myself, standard blizzard responses do have a way of causing people to glaze through them. Its just like when you mom starts the conversation with “you know, sometimes you should…” Yes its not “right” to have such a response but hey we’re all humans right?

Lesson

I missed my book schedule. Couldn’t really believe it. After my “so-called ferocious” reading, didn’t manage to finish all to return. But it does say one thing. There are things I can do to improve my management of such schedule. Other than the widget, which doesn’t seem to be able to record my progress, perhaps the whiteboard can include my projects schedule. And every morning i commit to looking at it. Just like how looking in the mirror brings out a better self.

And i learned something else. “As a young man just starting out to work, listen to what people are saying. Don’t be quick to defend yourself. Those which are useful, you keep in your pocket. Those not useful, you can turn around and chuck them aside.” Wise words from the celebrity chef Sam Leong. There is a reason why he’s good man.

Yes! : Rhymes increase fluidity.

By having more info on something, as relative to “something else”, you increase persuasiveness. The “something else” doesn’t even have to be related to that event!

People want to complete stuff. So, give them the headstart. Instead of giving them a blank card having to fulfill 8 stamps, give one with 2 chops having to hit 10. Same number. Huge difference in response.

Application in influencing others to complete projects already underway as well.

Unexpected descriptors and ambiguous names lead people to think about positive aspects in order to see link. And by that “Aha” moment you build interest and good feelings.

Simple persuasive messages get through better with slight alcohol.

Remind customers with packaging, Point of Purchase, place at places which are not native. Drinking example, coasters, dorms, frisbees.

Use of mirrors, name tags, use of names, induce feelings of honor in self. Signages with eyes.

Sad people pay more, sell at lower price.

Emotion laden offer takes focus away from numbers(value)

Lack of sleep, distractions cut off thinking process. And all statements when first heard are taken as tree when it is being heard. eg. “Halfcakes”, instead of cupcakes, followed with “they’re delicious!”. Derren Brown distraction. Jolt of mind. Persuasive message follows. Dangerous implications………..

Caffeine increases likelihood to be persuaded by STRONG arguments. Do presentations after morning coffee. Not after lunch or later.

Women more likely to be persuaded face-to-face than men.

Avoid diffusion of responsibility with mass email requests.

Use website backgrounds that emphasize the strengths of your product.

Collectivistic and Individualistic cultures should affect how you phrase your requests. “Remember the last time you helped” vs “Remember how you AND your team mates helped..”

Magnetic Middle: People who deviate from the average tend to move closer to it after being informed of it. From both sides.

To increase walk-ins and participation for events
1) Register area of interest.
2) Ask to ready a question

Long Tail: Knowing what you like Vs Discovering what you want. The difference often lies in the right way of ordering the items and the knowledge which the consumers have in hand.

Rules of Long Tail

1) Store using others spaces(virtual inventory)
2) Let customers do the work via
- Peer-production
- Reviews

Both are about cutting cost.

3) One distribution does not fit all(multiple channels, brick-and-mortar still necessary)
4) One product does not fit all
5) One price does not fit all (auctions, channels)

About the Niche part

6) Share information with the customers (ordering, reviews, rankings)
7) Think “and” not “Or”(Alot of opportunities)
Trust market to do your job (let them figure what they want and measure – ie Post-Filters instead of Pre)
9) Understand power of free (Alot of things can be given free, samples, clips )

Yeap that’s the end of The Long Tail and Yes!50 secrets from the science of persuasion!

Now my next aims: Further career discovery with The Renaissance Soul and Improving Communication skills with Crucial Conversations!

Stay hungry, stay foolish

..And that is what steve jobs said.

The Long Tail:
First force: Demorcratizing production( to populate the tail)
2nd force: Democratizing distribution( so they can physically be transferred to buyers)
3rd force: connecting ss and dd by tapping consumer sentiments.

The limitation as in rhapsody’s case is that the niches eventually run out as well. At least till newer technologies come about.

It is important to create the fan base before you release the album cos the popular vote for a single does not mean loyalty toward the artiste. Same for products. Your customer may love THAT product but not your brand.

A filter is important to the long tail without which there would be too much noise too many items. The Head of Tail could just mean those (songs) appeal to a broad range of tastes. Good quality is available down the Tail as well just that the dynamic range is larger. Long Tail contains many micro Long Tails within genres.

Pre and Post Filters: Idea – What if we could close the gap?
Pre: Magazine articles selection to print
post: reviews

For powerlaws to exist:

1) variety
2) inequality (some having higher quality etc)
3) network effects (word of mouth, reputation available to promote diff products)

Yes!: Humans have an aversion to loss. Coke Story.
Reframe with: “don’t miss out on opportunity to…”
Use “Because..” Get customers to say “because” as well to increase loyalty.
Humans partly make decisions based on fluency. Therefore a scenario of usage which is easier to imagine also = like it better.
Other fluency factors: Names, quality of handwriting(good reason to write better), even fonts that are more readable.

Yes i did my style under stress!

i scored in almost all categories…….wtf?! with a tendency to use silence tactics instead of violence.
Didn’t really start with Heart others are pretty ok. (which i agree actually)

Crucial Conversations: Making is safe for dialogue

Mutual Purpose: Why we need to talk in the first place

What do I want for me?
What do I want for others?
What do I want for the relationship

Mutual Respect: Once talking, for others to continue listening

Do others believe I respect them?

Lets try this again

Mutual purpose was not established..
Mutual respect was one sided

Contrasting Dos and Don’ts
Can we talk about the way our interactions are going? I don’t want you to think I disrespect your right to doing things the way you do or that I’m invading on your life. In fact, I like your effervescence and how you are such a family person. I do hope that we can clear up our misunderstandings about each other and to continue to enjoy each others’ company as friends.

CRIB
Commit to seek mutual purpose: will not settle for non agreeable solution
Recognize purpose behind strategy: Why is the strategy behind their actions
Invent a mutual purpose: In case not the same, discover it by focusing on longer-term goals
Brainstorm: use of creativity to come up with mutually beneficial

Day in NTU

Whereas a day spent in NTU would be absolutely normal 2 months ago, now it seems so far away. Yet familiar. They’re doing a lot of redesigning with the buildings. Hopefully it will be more conducive to the students. The vegetarians store fried rice is so hard sia! thought was rock rice or something. standard drop le leh….or maybe its just the price of rice.

Finally got my graduate library “card”. a laminated piece with my glamorous photo on it. And i cannot use the auto checkout machine too. lan diao. borrowed 9 books. one more to the limit. will i be able to finish reading them this time??

suntan while reading crucial conversations. Some ang mors in bikinis came over to suntan too. didn’t think they shoulda missed the sun so much.

Crucial conversations:
Staying focused on what you want: keep asking yourself what is it eventually you want to achieve. Kicking out the suckers choices of only the dichotomy of if i do it i’m going to offend him and if i don’t i’m a wimp..
1. What do you want?
2. What don’t you want?
Stick them together with an “AND”
by combining the two, your brain is forced to search for a creative solution to such a complex problem then violence and silence.

Violence and Silence signify non-contribution to the pool of shared meaning. IQ of group measured by size of shared pool.

Look for signs of fear. When you are fearful of being attacked or humiliated, its hard not to be filtering what others are saying. When its safe, you can say anything. Therefore, make it safe to speak.

I’m supposed to do my style under stress test but kinda tired so guess i’ll do it tomorrow! (so much for dota)

I couldn’t help it. That guy was getting on my nerves! you know when the guy next to you keeps trying to be faster than you just a tiny teeny bit so he can stay ahead. And when you speed up…..he speeds up too!! GROWL! so my competitive urge finally consumed me and i ran way past him till he finds the gap too far to catch up to. You know when people lose sight of how fast they are running when alone and has to gauge by relative distance to the guys nearby.

Groundswell: Many tools. The groundswell is made of people and you can’t shut them down. You can’t control the wave but what you can do is thrive with it. To analyze how these tools work, an important concept is its always the relationship forged with its use.

Delicious
Digg
Forums and Reviews
RSS, Widgets
Blogs
Social networking sites
Tagging
User created content(wikis)

Profiling of customers. Social Technigraph
Classification into: creators, critics/reactors, joiners, observers

charactersistics…..arrr
creators can write blogs, do funny stuff.
critics review, add on to ideas.
joiners take part in polls etc.
observers…similar to joiners but more passive?

Important to find out wat percentage of customers fall into which category so as not to waste precious resources on certain tools. eg. alphamoms/ retirees to blog??
Can zoom out some more to country lvl or region lvl. Market research.

POST: People, Objectives, Strategy, Tools

More often start with objectives. Suggested 5.
energize enthusiasts to improve sales
idea generation from customers
marketing promotion

does not rest in silos. But the determinant of an objective makes it possible to measure performance and then to include others later.

Strategy: How to roll out. In stages. What are the responses that customers will have. eg. negative reviews impact on suppliers and manufacturers, salespeople. 2 years down the road? 3 years? Planning is not down in isolation. Should be undertaken by a senior person in the company. Depending on the objective, different positions will be in charge of the project. Most companies are unable to support the development of digital applications etc hence should be outsourcing to agencies. Most important is whether company understands where the brand is heading and can implement on the same line.

We all have movies running in our heads. Scenes enacted play by play based on previous experience and expectations. Especially with movies that don’t get to run to finish, the effect can be unsettling. Jumping to conclusions and basing your actions on that movie.

We are often unhappy because people are not the way we want them to be. And then…why should they be the way you want them to be? You’re not them. Obviously they can’t be all things to all people all the time. Loving what is.

The life of my chocolate is finally coming to an end after sitting for a disproportionately long period of time. Its longevity seemed even longer than my Hall 5 kiwi chocolate. HAHA

Expectations

Today i cooked.

Or at least i think i did.

What would have been a fun exercise turned out to be a souring experience as an unenlightened educator in the form of my father led me to have a momentary dislike for cooking. I looked back on how seemingly unthoughtful words and expectations have an effect on children. The role model whom kids look up to feels that they are incompetent. And i would say rightly so because though they can work on the task, they may not be good at it. Is degrading the kids in such a way justified? I should think kids know none the better and they may simply consign themselves to being lousy at whichever activity. Worse of all, it may be a self-esteem issue if the child is not able to differentiate between an attack on his ability on a task or his ability. As Burt Goldman rightly mentioned, all kids are born creative and geniuses.  It is when well-intentioned parents constrict their creativity by telling them “you can’t do this” or ” don’t do that” because they wanted to protect their kids from failing, that they start to lose confidence in themselves.

I strongly believe in the potential of humans and i know for a fact that talents have to be nurtured in an encouraging environment. Granted some have a stronger internal compass than others but given a more positive environment, everyone can benefit from positive feedbacks and encouragement.

Sometimes kids just have to be given the free rein to do their thing. So where should parents step in? At a very young age, kids may not be able to differentiate harmful things like drugs and cigarettes or unlawful activities from normal play. Especially with the rising sex and violence from television. Humans have an amazing ability to imitate the actions of others even at a very early age so parents should gently explain in a meaningful way why such and such actions are undesirable instead of, “don’t do that”. You may think they will not understand such concepts and that is true to a certain extent. But many stuff they are capable of comprehending. Faced with abstract concepts like violence and justice, that is where the trust in parents come in. Which is why parents should work to gain the trust of their children and not just rely on the fact that they are adults and therefore they are right.

As for myself, i practically tuned out. And, unfortunately for many people, this may be the best way, short of the hassle of all the explanations. Sometimes we choose to bullshit because its easier than explaining the actual fact.

Transformation

Yes once a month I transform into this ugly, bad, unfilial son who is dragged to the association and behaves just like a mule. A very resistant one i might say. Well to be honest I cannot imagine myself being a believer so if you’re thinking of asking me to help in my mom’s quest…well. i think i will retain the unfilial son title once a month.

Peggy proves our innate resistance to verbal persuasion. The more she says, the more i resisted. And, i din even bother to think of any counter-reason this time. I just resisted. I figured, that because i was not like them neither did i want to be similar to them (lets not argue on why) , i resisted. If they had someone more similar to me, perhaps i might. Kelvin was by right quite similar and alex was good. But dominic and jonathan probably spoke the most sense to me. Perhaps its cos we really are more similar in thinking that eventually we reached a kind of consensus that i was..a mule. The only person whom i really liked as a believer probably will not ever speak to me about it so i guess i’m safe to be my mule.

The number of emotions which a person can experience under a circumstance is limited. I should grasp them quickly one of these days.

The more u know about influence techniques, the less they seem to work on you as you pause and consider an action. I’m thinking this has actually cut the possibility of my conversion short. Of course things like peer influence are acting underneath your conscious but when you ‘awake’, the effects more or less wear off.

And so..today’s teachings: Its about faith. *groan*
Nothing really to do with me but never the less, some stuff extrapolated.

In order to achieve Buddhahood, we need to believe that we are buddhas by nature. I see it as self-fulfilling prophecy so nothing new there.
The purpose of faith is not just for ourselves but to move humankind forward. This reminds me…of the time when doing my FYP. Everytime i went for a meal, (alone no doubt for a sufferable long time) the reality of my situation would hit me. And whenever i started feeling sorry for myself, i stopped. I knew there were tons of people in the billions who at that point in time were near death by starvation. And that’s when i said i would make a difference in others’ lives when i get my chance…….Well, the chances are not like doors closing which just disappear, they are all over the place actually and they are all very very slowly closing. I have not upheld my end of the promise..yet. Was so inspired by http://www.wefeelfine.org/ that…i slapped myself and wondered how was i going to do that?? And then i remembered kenny low’s words of wisdom:

“I am not trying to change the world. just trying to change myself so i can inspire others so we can change the world together.”

Some rules of being a believer:
1) Forget the past, always start from the present
2) Never give up the faith
3) Strong faith and belief even when standing alone
4) Only comparison with self

with 1, we remember that all that matters is what we do now. No matter how good or bad you have been to her, you cannot change it. We all start afresh. Right now. I wonder. Can she forget the past too?

with 2, when we know the right thing to do, we should keep the faith.

with 3, when we are alone, we often forget the right thing to do. After all, peer influence is very strong and without it, someone with weaker faith may just do the wrong thing. And even worse, what happens when the tide goes against you? All the more you need to tap on your own faith and believe what you do is right.

with 4, And YEa! this solves my problem! All you have to do….is compare with what you were yesterday and if you are better, we are happy! that’s easy enough to comprehend. HAHAHAH. Now why didn’t i think of that? And also once you are the best, there is no one else to compare with. Therefore by competing with yourself, you will always be ready for competition and to improve oneself! And to learn of course!

Adherence

This reminded me of why i didn’t like to sing. In spite of the amount of belief I have about people being able to learn and accomplish anything they want to eventually as long they practice, this simply was not one of them. Yes. ANother one of those singing events our wonderful GRC has organized to let the elderly showcase their talent. So too is the performance of Sheng Siong participants. But it is more the loss of child-like innocence that seems to affect me most. What could transform young kids into a performer on stage who seems to have grasped the adult concept of sexual innuendo instead of Nintendos.

TOmorrow i’ll have to go to the Telok Blangah centre. I did say i’d go to the larger meetings. (which seem to happen pretty frequently) This Yu Shu thing whatever it is, hopefully can provide me with some wisdom at a point in time when things are looking pretty bland.

Did not schedule my day today. And..of course nothing happened for me. I should restart this to a 3 week course. Just like in the army, 3 weeks of daily actions become habits.

My chart hasn’t seem to have any effect on dad yet. perhaps its not solid enough. I should add in the dollars sign and probably a total for that. and i should separate the family costs and his personal costs. just to highlight his charges are. But my next most immediate project should be to explain in a way that unmistakably shows how taking up another plan is cheaper for him.

After a few days of letting my thoughts settle, media planning is still cool in the sense i can work and see ideas all day long. But then…i’m still not really getting paid for ideas. Wouldn’t it be better if i get paid for GENERATING ideas?

And how does that correlate to marketing and branding? Isn’t that more to do with strategic thinking, critical analysis, research on insights etc.

Lately money issues have been coming to mind. i don’t think i need a big house and car (as unbelievably as that might sound) but i do wan to feel liberation from money issues. As in the things i want to buy like books and all, i should not have to think twice before getting them. Is that the same thing as the houses and cars just that its on a smaller scale??? perhaps i haven experienced their allure yet as they are still quite unreachable from me. But even so, i must remember the pitfalls of forever pursuing a “better” life in terms of materialistic possessions. Of course there will never be a limit to what a person can get. There will always be a comparison as humans inevitably use this as a yardstick to see how good the things he has are. And once you finish comparing your possessions you start to measure your friends etc….