Transformation

Yes once a month I transform into this ugly, bad, unfilial son who is dragged to the association and behaves just like a mule. A very resistant one i might say. Well to be honest I cannot imagine myself being a believer so if you’re thinking of asking me to help in my mom’s quest…well. i think i will retain the unfilial son title once a month.

Peggy proves our innate resistance to verbal persuasion. The more she says, the more i resisted. And, i din even bother to think of any counter-reason this time. I just resisted. I figured, that because i was not like them neither did i want to be similar to them (lets not argue on why) , i resisted. If they had someone more similar to me, perhaps i might. Kelvin was by right quite similar and alex was good. But dominic and jonathan probably spoke the most sense to me. Perhaps its cos we really are more similar in thinking that eventually we reached a kind of consensus that i was..a mule. The only person whom i really liked as a believer probably will not ever speak to me about it so i guess i’m safe to be my mule.

The number of emotions which a person can experience under a circumstance is limited. I should grasp them quickly one of these days.

The more u know about influence techniques, the less they seem to work on you as you pause and consider an action. I’m thinking this has actually cut the possibility of my conversion short. Of course things like peer influence are acting underneath your conscious but when you ‘awake’, the effects more or less wear off.

And so..today’s teachings: Its about faith. *groan*
Nothing really to do with me but never the less, some stuff extrapolated.

In order to achieve Buddhahood, we need to believe that we are buddhas by nature. I see it as self-fulfilling prophecy so nothing new there.
The purpose of faith is not just for ourselves but to move humankind forward. This reminds me…of the time when doing my FYP. Everytime i went for a meal, (alone no doubt for a sufferable long time) the reality of my situation would hit me. And whenever i started feeling sorry for myself, i stopped. I knew there were tons of people in the billions who at that point in time were near death by starvation. And that’s when i said i would make a difference in others’ lives when i get my chance…….Well, the chances are not like doors closing which just disappear, they are all over the place actually and they are all very very slowly closing. I have not upheld my end of the promise..yet. Was so inspired by http://www.wefeelfine.org/ that…i slapped myself and wondered how was i going to do that?? And then i remembered kenny low’s words of wisdom:

“I am not trying to change the world. just trying to change myself so i can inspire others so we can change the world together.”

Some rules of being a believer:
1) Forget the past, always start from the present
2) Never give up the faith
3) Strong faith and belief even when standing alone
4) Only comparison with self

with 1, we remember that all that matters is what we do now. No matter how good or bad you have been to her, you cannot change it. We all start afresh. Right now. I wonder. Can she forget the past too?

with 2, when we know the right thing to do, we should keep the faith.

with 3, when we are alone, we often forget the right thing to do. After all, peer influence is very strong and without it, someone with weaker faith may just do the wrong thing. And even worse, what happens when the tide goes against you? All the more you need to tap on your own faith and believe what you do is right.

with 4, And YEa! this solves my problem! All you have to do….is compare with what you were yesterday and if you are better, we are happy! that’s easy enough to comprehend. HAHAHAH. Now why didn’t i think of that? And also once you are the best, there is no one else to compare with. Therefore by competing with yourself, you will always be ready for competition and to improve oneself! And to learn of course!