I have a dream..

I had a dream. Literally. While not many graduates harbour much of any left after leaving school and working for 2 months…i had one. I dreamt of Pat. again. In my dream, she was 2nd in command of a sports club. (funny how she got associated with NTU when she studied in NUS) The usual characteristics which i have so dearly experienced first hand were still there. Assertive, personal and charming, she was authentically Pat. Her smile and seeming irreverence made her somewhat of an icon. But…i digress.

After working for 3 weeks, the desire to start my own business is getting stronger. I wonder how mingwei is doing. So far, he seems to be the only entrepreneur in my group of friends to not be working for anyone after graduation. I can see that working allows you to see a company’s system and be more familiar about how they organize each function. And, strangely enough my job allows me to see many different company’s structures at the same time. And importantly, i have been assigned the job of figuring out this great big idea called leadership development. With great expectations, i started my book eagerly, half-expecting my curiousity to gain momentum as i continue reading through it. But it didn’t happen. While enjoying my suntan, i read on and on…and yes there was alot of stuff i did not understand. But perhaps not fully understanding the context of it was not the true reason for my lack of enthusiasm.

Kevin Roberts of Saatchi & Saatchi said this and i agree fully that while he is a very strong advocate of change, there was a time even he felt overwhelmed by the richness and freshness of culture. And he just didn’t know what to make of it. That’s how i feel. assimilation takes time. you can’t exactly rush it. While i’m taking my own sweet time to get used the working environment, i find that the sanctuary of marketing knowledge to be a breath of fresh air and it gives me renewed confidence to pursue my dream (YES my dream) of one day being able to run my business doing my own marketing and harnessing my strengths (and others) to make a difference. I love marketing.

Blank Slate

And its been 2 weeks since i started work. Time kinda passes really fast when you’re zipping around. I’m beginning to think the blog title is a little morbid.

Anyway amidst my lazy sunday, i’ve decided to write down some stuff that i’ve learned before they get lost in my booklet.

My two bosses have busted the myth that entrepreneurs have it easy after the business system is set up. And strangely enough they love running around and helping people conquer their problems. It is indeed a meaningful exercise to be able to  help bring about organizational change. I am a keen learner. but somehow there is too much to pick up, too many aspects to consider. And now that diana’s taking a break….i’m officially the office mule! HAHAH

hopefully missing out monday’s teambuilding wont prove to have too much of an effect on me. I think(once again) about whether the grad diploma may be trying to add more stuff to my already full plate of work. As with service industries(oh god i’m starting to limit myself), things can be pretty relaxed and then really busy again. but then even the relaxed moments are like a mirage, hiding the gargantuan amounts of work that you can do to improve working processes and do exploration of the business. Fortunately, or not,i can’t log on to salesforce from home so..yea i’d have to skip that temporarily. But i’d have to prove my worth to increase business from the BD side soon b4 she takes away my “part-time” job.

Saw huiting on bus out of NTU. She’s still pretty much the same and finally they’re going to graduate from the minor program. seems so long huh. well at least as compared to us. 104 was really fun sometimes thinking back. our decision making was pretty much haphazard and seemingly we couldn’t internalize the rationale that led us to our poor decision making the previous quarter. coming to that i should read my report on that again. But it is wonderful to be able to err without any costs.

Okayyyyyy………so my life is in a mess. now what?

Its official. My life is currently in a mess. Despite what I try to tell myself, its in a mess. yea the absolute truth. And the more i think about it, the more i think alot of others have pretty messed up lives too.

My first and biggest problem has to be dipping energy levels. I have been told that sitting in front of the cpu saps energy. However, I have also been told that when u’re upset, you get tired pretty quickly too. I need to get that sea salt to try out. Mark Joyner peddles Simpleology 103 which is supposed to increase energy levels. yea even that is within my consideration. so it seems pretty bad.

It seems that the only things i’m doing right is
1) I still run every week and I made an “intelligent” choice to sign up for stanchart early. (thus saving me tons of money eventually)
2) I’m proactive in my sending of resumes (yes i can be even more so but that’s besides the point)
3) I know there is something not right with me. I just can’t figure out what yet.

Okay so i cleaned up room a little and it looks less like a pigsty. Despite my bookstore-shelf-like layout of my tomes of knowledge, it still looks untidy. Takes some real skill there. I should get a secretary of some sort in future. I’ve also got my phone(finally!) which I dubbed the “fake iClone”. played with the idea of getting a desktop for more computing power but realized i dun really need it. yet. except for maybe a better gaming experience. Well, maybe the LCD screen would do good to reduce the amount of radiation. OMG that must be it! Ok another action plan.

I need to update many “things” in my life. A new wallet. A new pair of shoes. A new shirt. A new pair of pants. New socks. New bag. New briefcase. A new running watch. (preferably with heart rate monitor. Hmm I dunno if it’d work as i expected but it’ll be cool if it did ya know). This is crazy. I need so much STUFF. well at least i got my phone. That’s functional.

I should start studying for my final theory for my driving license. And…my studies for graduate diploma should start. That is the one thing I know will prove useful. But…but…where can i get the cash to do so? Most precious things in life…you can’t buy with money. Unfortunately, (or fortunately) it drives many things too.

Tomorrow i head for my interview at IMI. If it works out, that just might be great. Today I forgot my number is not active on the new phone, and I wondered if any prospective employer actually called. But surprisingly I didn’t get that upset for having missed opportunities. I actually saw a bigger picture. This thing called fate is something you have little control of. Okay fate may not be the right word but i digress. Blessings in disguise are such apt terms when you think about it sometimes. Its precisely because you can’t foretell the consequences of a certain action(and i mean consequences as in the resulting things that happen) or misaction that there should be little to fret and worry about stuff that happens to you at all. You miss a call, who knows an even better job awaits you later. which…you might have been unable to take should you take your first offer. Sometimes when i ponder about it, the soka wisdom about the “fu yun” is really sagely.And from that I have also partially derived the thinking that trying too hard to get something  (as in really REALLY going out of your way) is not to be advised. If it really is that hard to get it, it just may not be worth the effort after all.

Right now, I’m thinking along the lines of accumulating “skills” that you can put into your resume and talk about. No matter how much you say you can do, it means nothing if there’s nothing to show for it. So, the best way is to provide such evidence. And i think i need some evidence.

Yes yes. I need to start doing some non-profit work. maybe at IDEA for a start. How do you like studying part-time and working and doing non-profit and training for a marathon at the same time?

I think there is a serious need to get back some direction in my life and I know I can’t do everything at once so….i need to think. Fast. today.

And i was also wondering what really is the difference btw facebook and friendster. Why is it that friendster now is less popular. Then….i realized my question was kinda..wrong. Because its not really less popular, at least holistically. it just happens that the target group of facebook, are people who i interact with. That’s why to me facebook is so uniquitous. but for a lot of youngsters, facebook is well erm boring. which actually there’s no reason why to think so. So i logged in to friendster, checked out shiqi’s profile and realized she logged in 6 days ago. which is pretty long, considering my estimate that she’s a very regular facebook user. but then, i realized also that she has 500 friends. which also means she probably has more than 1 account and that new friends may have been added to her newer account. if she has one. so there you have it. friendster still has a following. facebook is more for college peeps and professionals about 20 up. As long as your little cousin doesn’t use facebook, you can be pretty certain not many other youngsters do. So what exactly is the reason youngsters don’t use facebook? what is the reason that professionals use facebook as their preferred networking tool? Is it the initial target? Is it their “distribution strategy”? that’s a question for another day as i think…I need to go back to my drawing board.